I have Olivia’s crib still up in her bedroom. Considering she is only 18 months old, that may not seem so strange. But Olivia hasn’t slept in her crib for nine months.
When Olivia learned to stand up, her perfect sleeping habits instantly stopped. And in my sleep deprived state, I decided to join the ranks of co-sleepers. (My twin sister Susan has co-slept with both of her kids.) I put a mattress on the floor in her room and slept with her there.
Blissfully, we have co-slept for the past nine months. But the only problem with co-sleeping is that I need her to fall deeply asleep before I can leave her. (As much as I would love to go to sleep at 8:30 p.m., that isn’t an option in my life!)
Bedtime can be a wrestling match, with her sitting up and insisting, “All done” or “Go…go…” and grabbing my finger in an attempt to persuade me to give up and take her downstairs to play.
Enter the crib and the power of choices.
When my older son was a toddler, my sister Susan found the book, Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood: Practical Parenting from Birth to Six Years by Jim Fay and Charles Fay, and it revolutionized my parenting.
Giving children choices empowers them—and most often ends arguments and whining. (Try it; it is magic!)
So Susan and I both make sure our kids’ days are full of choices, allowing them to have a sense of control over their lives. “Do you want two pieces of broccoli or three?” (Note that no broccoli is not an option.) “Do you want to have a bath or a shower?” “Do you want to go to bed now or in ten minutes?”
And at bedtime, when Olivia sits up, refusing to go to sleep, I calmly point to the crib and say, “Do you want to sleep in your crib?”
“No!” she admits and flops her head down on the pillow.
Then she always tries again, sitting up she says, “All done.”
I reply, “It is sleepy time. Where do you want to sleep, crib or bed?”
“BED!” and she drops her head to her pillow, snuggles up to me. End of discussion.
Oh, the power of a simple choice. It’s magic.
So, the crib? It isn’t going anywhere just yet.
