One of my kids used what we might call a “maladaptive coping strategy” the other day. In the face of some strong, unhappy emotions, she chose a course of action that was decidedly not good.
I dealt with her strong feelings first, since they were at the root of the problem. Also because it’s hard to communicate effectively when a sandstorm of anxiety and distress is preventing a kid from seeing anything clearly.
Still, the child felt really, really bad about herself the next day. And so it was that I found myself sending up a fervent and familiar prayer: Please, please Holy Spirit, give this child have a true understanding of her worth today. If she just understood how dearly You love her…
Sigh. I do this all the time. First I diagnose the problem, then I explain it to God. And then I point out that all it would take is for Him to do this one thing, this simple thing, that would make it all better. As if He doesn’t know, and as if I have to teach Him what to do.
So I backed up and put first things first.
Lord, guide my child’s heart to Yours.
Teach her to love You madly, passionately, incessantly.
Shape her in Your image, so that Your light shines brightly in her soul.
And use me, Lord, in whatever way You desire to have me help. Give me the words, the quiet tongue, the patience, the perseverance, and the wisdom I need to be the parent You ask me to be.
It was a different prayer, a humbler one. And I daresay that in God’s time it is far more likely to come to pass.
