Becoming a military mom wasn’t really on my radar until our oldest son announced he’d decided to skip college and go straight into the Marine Corps. I’d always assumed that he’d attend college, and I’d have some transition time between his boyhood and adulthood. Turns out I had 12 weeks—the time it took for him to go through boot camp.
I came to terms with the fact that I had to adjust to the changes, so I developed a list of things that I had to let go of:
1. Dreams for our son’s life
I still wanted the best for him, but I let go of all the definitions of what that would look like.
2. A false sense of control
Turns out I didn’t really have much control anyway. Now it was abundantly clear that I had none, and I needed to learn to live with that.
3. Fear about what would happen next
We learned pretty quickly that the military isn’t big on letting anyone in on what happens next. I had to stop anticipating catastrophe around each corner and learn to live each moment joyfully.
4. A lack of trust in God
I was faced with the fact that my teenaged son was going to war. I could either trust God and make it through, or spend my life miserable and unable to cope.
5. My timeline
I’ve always been a planner. I like the holidays with family all around me, and everything set up in advance. With a son in the military, family celebrations were catch as catch can.
6. Anger
This one’s hard to admit. But there were a lot of things that upset me—from friends whose sons were safe at college to negative comments about the military I overheard from others. I had to make peace with that.
When life changes direction, we can let God use that crossroad to help us grow, or we can let bitterness take root and risk the destruction of everything we hold dear. Growth isn’t easy, but it has taken me places so precious and beautiful I wouldn’t hesitate to do it again.
