Dear Trudy,
I have spent the last hour reading your inspirational blog and the stories of people sharing their last moments with loved ones or receiving comfort in their times of sorrow.
I felt compelled to share my own story of comfort in God’s grace. In mid-April, my husband and I were thrilled to learn of our first pregnancy. It seemed as if all of our nearest and dearest were beginning the journey of parenthood together, and we couldn’t wait to join them.
At nine weeks, we saw the beating heart of our little one on an ultrasound. Words cannot express the joy and gratitude we felt at this blessing. Unfortunately, just nine days later I was headed to the ER after I noticed signs of a miscarriage. The doctors and nurses quickly became the earth angels I’ve read about in your blog. Every person offered words of comfort and made me feel safe and cared for, standing as physical presences to share God’s love for my husband and me.
One nurse, Kathy, simply looked at me as I was headed into surgery and gripped me in a warm embrace, saying, “You look like you need this.” Their kindness has stayed with me. Even as our hearts were breaking with loss, God continued to remind us that we are his forever. He sent people to care for us emotionally, as well as medically, during and after our loss, assuring us that we are not alone, even when facing the most devastating news.
When we arrived home and I was resting comfortably, I looked outside at a surprisingly clear and sunny afternoon … and noticed the single beautiful orange rose bloom in our front garden. I began to cry because the previous summer (the first in our new home), this bush had not produced a single bud. For it to bloom on this day, and in my husband’s favorite color, was surely a sign of God’s love and a reminder that even though our child was never born into this world, he or she was safely tucked into Jesus’s arms in heaven.
The bush only produced that single rose this year, and the picture I snapped of it continues to serve as a reminder of God’s faithfulness and everlasting love in all circumstance. Looking at the photo again as I write this, I can’t help but notice the center of the bloom seems to glow in radiant yellow and red. As we continue to work toward having a child, we know that God will provide in his own perfect time. I thank you for the opportunity to share this story. I pray for all mothers who lose a child before they get to meet them, knowing that God is there and always caring for them (us!).
Gratefully,
Erin Wright
Dear Erin,
Thank you so much for your profoundly beautiful and touching letter. I have read and re-read it several times. God has indeed blessed you with the eyes to see his hand working in your lives. Your beautiful baby is now safe in heaven with him for all eternity. This little one will greet you one day when God chooses to draw you home as well; until then you have the joy of knowing your child is with Jesus. The beautiful orange rose is God’s gift to you, letting you know your child is safe with him.
I spoke one day to a gathering of Christian women, and I told them the story of a newborn baby girl. She was born to a young nurse and her doctor husband and lived for only a few days. They knew she would not live but wanted her with them when she died. They slept with her during the night, as they had not been able to hold her while she was alive.
In the morning, the young nurse assigned to her care arrived to take her to the funeral home in her car, together with her parents. She had brought with her a single yellow rose but didn’t know why. It seems they had great devotion to St. Theresa, known as the Little Flower, whose symbol is the rose. They felt that by this gesture, God was letting them know their little one was with him.
When I finished speaking, a young woman approached the podium. She introduced herself as the mother of this little girl and thanked me for keeping her little one’s story alive. But there was more to tell. It seems a friend had sent a lovely yellow rose bush as a gift of remembrance when her child had died. Each February, on the anniversary of her death, a beautiful rose blooms on that bush.
Know that the glow of yellow and red that you see in the picture of your rose is God’s tender heart in union with yours.
I wish you much peace and lots of babies.
Blessings,
Trudy Harris
Trudy gets so many questions from Guideposts readers, we decided to make her answers a regular feature on her blog. If you have a story about a “glimpse of heaven,” please share it with us. Send it to glimpsesofheaven@guideposts.org.
