Hi Trudy,
I know your blog is about experiencing a glimpse of heaven, but I wanted to ask you about why some people get these glimpses and some of us don’t.
My dad passed away at a Veterans’ Hospital in Connecticut. By the time I arrived, he was unable to speak, and the next morning he died. He was 85 and lived a good life, but to this day I wish I’d had the chance to talk to him before he passed.
Over the next week we kept a close watch on my mom, who was also 85 but in good health. Twelve days later, a call from my brother told me that my mom had choked on a piece of food and was being rushed to the hospital. I did not leave her side, hoping and praying she would awaken and talk to me.
Exactly two weeks after my dad died, my mom was gone. Needless to say, the whole family was in a state of shock. Not once did I or anyone else ever get any kind of “message” or sign from God to help us through this.
I read your column about people receiving signs or seeing things just before or after someone has passed. I am very happy for them because I believe that will help them in some way.
Why do you think we did not experience any kind of sign or comfort? If there was ever a time to give us some kind of message or something, it was then, when we had to deal with both parents’ deaths so close to each other.
My faith is strong, but it was really tested last year and I sometimes feel it slipping slowly away. I just wonder if maybe I did something wrong in my life and that is why there is nothing coming to me. As I said earlier, I am happy for those who receive some kind of sign, but I seem to be sadder all the time. Forgive me for being selfish, but I just needed to ask someone. Thank you so much.
Sandy Redente
Dear Sandy,
Please know for certain that nothing you have ever done in your life has caused you not to experience your mom and dad in some way. Those who write to me have found comfort through their experiences, but there are many who never have these experiences.
Sometimes, very soon after a loved one dies, family members are touched in some way that comforts them. For many this does not happen for years, or at all. When someone we love dies without warning, it is all the harder to reconcile their loss. For you to lose both parents so close together is a great heartache. You had no time to really grieve individually for them.
Friends, family members and coworkers are all reflections of God’s love for you and yours. It is through them that he sends his love to you.
In time you will dream about them, see others who remind you of them, remember something wonderful that happened between you, etc. If you could scratch the surface of the air around you, they are that close to you. Quietly sit and think about them, individually and together. Thank them for all the things they taught you, tell them how much you love and miss them, look at old pictures and be sure to reminisce about them with other family members.
Your happiness for those who do have these experiences shows just how loving you are. Your faith is strong and will remain so, but do tell God often how you are feeling and ask him not so much for a sign but for his comfort. He will surprise you one day in a way you least expect.
Blessings to you and yours,
Trudy Harris
Trudy gets so many questions from Guideposts readers, we decided to make her answers a regular feature on her blog. If you have a story about a “glimpse of heaven,” please share it with us. Send it to glimpsesofheaven@guideposts.org.
