But if you forget about yourself and look to me, you’ll find both yourself and me.” Matthew 10:39 (MSG)
I gripped the steering wheel of my vehicle as I flew down the highway. Mile after mile of gray wooden fence posts supporting strands of barbed wire flashed past. The road wound through large ranches with cattle grazing in the grassy meadows. The scenery looked peaceful, but I wasn’t. I churned like a volcano ready to erupt.
I’d been involved in a situation where I’d been repeatedly wronged and was driving to calm down. I shook my head and raised my voice. “But, God, I…” On and on I ranted about my upsetting situation and then I slapped the steeringwheel and yelled, “I’m finished!”
Finally I grew quiet. Only the humming of the tires on the road broke the silence.
It’s really not about what you want, I heard. It’s about what I want to do through you. When you talk about I, I, I, each one of those I’s is like those miles of fence posts. When you rant and rave, you’re stringing barbed wire between us. You’ve been fencing Me out.
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Tears streamed down my face. “Oh, God, I’m so sorry. What do You want me to do?”
Stay and be a witness for Me.
So I stayed.
My situation didn’t change. But I took control of my thoughts; I refused to let them lead me down the dark road of rage. Trusting the Lord and obeying Him despite my own desires brought me more joy than I ever could have imagined.
Lord, nudge me when I start putting I’s where there should be Yous. Amen.
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