Casting all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. —I PETER 5:7
As soon as I found out I was pregnant, I worried about losing the baby.
When I made it to the pivotal point of three months, I breathed a sigh of relief. At each doctor’s appointment with no problems, I relaxed and let myself think that maybe, just maybe, this dream of mine of having a baby was going to be perfectly fine.
After Solomon was born and I held him in my arms, most of my fears subsided. But every now and then a gnawing, terrible worry haunted me.
What if, I thought, what if he just stops breathing?
When Solomon reached the age where such things are rare, I thanked God and expected my fear to go away. It did, mostly, but there were times when I found myself thinking, What if something else happens to Solomon?
“I can’t bear to think of it,” I confessed to my husband one night. Tony put his hand on mine. “Don’t think of it, then,” he said.
“But what if . . . what if we ever lost him?”
“Stop spoiling your love with worry,” Tony said. “Just love him.”
Love him. He was right. I was completely in love, and instead of enjoying it, I was splintering it with worry.
Dear God, help me put my fears aside and love with my whole heart.
