I deeply offended someone the other day. I only found out this morning, when I ran into the woman’s spouse, asked after their daughter’s health and got a harsh response. I was shocked. I hadn’t known I’d said anything hurtful. In fact, I’m still having a hard time figuring out why what I said was offensive.
I apologized profusely, but the husband was having none of it. I said I was sorry a second time and had the sinking sense he would never talk to me again.
I came home confused, praying for the strength to resist blaming my upset neighbors for the problem (why did they react so oddly!?) and asking for insight into my role in the mess. Then I wiped my tears and wrote and sent an apology. Without excuses.
It grieves me that I angered and hurt someone, and that my attempts at reconciliation were rebuffed. I truly don’t know if the friendship can be salvaged. But I can’t think of much else to do to make things better. Except this: I can pray for that husband and wife.
I can pray that they grow in love and mercy and forgiveness and faith. I can ask God to bless them and nourish them and draw them close to him. I can pray for their daughter and their wellbeing. And in that way I can be a friend, even if we never speak to one another again. Because when our ties to others are cut—whether through our own actions or someone else’s—we remain connected through God. He can do things where we cannot, and heal hearts we cannot reach, even if we never personally see the fruit of it.
