Double Duty

The year after my wife, Candy, was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, her 90-year-old dad, still self-sufficient and living in his own home, broke his hip. We traveled from Milwaukee to Minneapolis to care for him for two months after surgery rehab, then back and forth several times. The next year, he had another serious fall and came to live in a senior living residence near our home.

Candy’s dad still really values his independence. Honoring that, I have become a dual caregiver. I am finding joy caring for him. Candy is his only child, and he has outlived other family. Without us he would require institutional care. Mondays I do his laundry. Tuesdays we shop, and I deliver his groceries on Wednesdays. Fridays I give him a shower and clean his apartment. Sundays we bring him to church.

As his caregiver, I enable Candy and her dad to cultivate a closer relationship on their parallel, life-altering journeys. I started out seeing my care for him as an extension of my love for my wife, and in the process, I have fallen in love with my father-in-law in a new way.