I Wasn’t Talking to You

My wife, Candy, and I had gotten into bed and snuggled into the sheets and the silence. Just as I was drifting into that fuzzy zone between wake and sleep, I heard Candy whispering, but I couldn’t discern any words. She takes medication to control the hallucinations that have come with her Alzheimer’s, but occasionally she hears and even sees things that are not there. A gentle question reconnects her with reality, usually with a slight laugh. So thinking she might be hearing or seeing something, I asked, “What did you say? I didn’t hear you clearly.”

She spoke up distinctly, “I wasn’t talking to you. I was talking to God. I guess you can listen in. I was thanking God for our children and grandchildren, asking God to take care of them. I was asking God to help my Dad to find something to be thankful for at 93 years old. I was thanking God for you and asking for your strength.”

Since then, I have been aware of Candy regularly whispering to God. Sometimes I get to listen in, but most of the time it’s between the two of them. While Alzheimer’s gradually impairs aspects of her cognitive functioning, I see a growing spiritual acuity in Candy. I know this may appear to diminish over time, but I believe she and God will continue their whispers too deep for words.