Say Thank You

A space opened up at a senior living facility five minutes from my sister’s home and an hour away from me and my brother. This convenient spot seemed the answer to caring for our 90-year-old mom, so we immediately moved her there.

I drove to visit Mom every three weeks, but the week-to-week and day-to-day care fell on our sister’s shoulders. Sis assured us she was happy to do it, but it was truly a long list of care: arranging and driving to medical appointments, financial paperwork, car maintenance and help with healthy meals. I felt guilty, but Sis seemed to know what to do and so we let her.

Then my husband and I moved across the country and my visits slowed to just twice a year. I kept in touch with Mom by phone. I also checked in with Sis: “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Mom can be stubborn, but we’re doing fine.” I took Sis at her word.

One day I hung up the phone and was jolted with the thought: I’ve never really said thank you. Now I was ashamed. I wrote a heartfelt note to my sister: “I appreciate the good care you give Mom. Thank you so much for shouldering that burden. You are not alone.”

The next time we talked, Sis said, “I got your letter. It meant a lot. Thank you.”