The Talk

Oh, that dreaded nursing home talk. When do you have it? Is it giving up? Is it the right thing to do? Those were the questions my brother Steve and I asked each other when we found ourselves nearing that time with our mother. She could no longer walk or help much in her own care. The doctor said Mom would soon need around-the-clock skilled nursing care.

We expected Mom would not agree to moving at first, but we hoped she would once she got used to the idea, because the truth was she was rapidly reaching a point when we would have to make her move. So, united in prayer and love for her, Steve and I broached the subject with Mom.

“Y’all just want to put me in there to die!” she snapped. Tears brimmed in her eyes.

Her words stung. I fell to my knees in front of her and took her hands in mine. “This will be one of the hardest things we will ever have to do. We will not leave you out of the decision-making, but you do need to start thinking about it,” I said.

Some weeks after that Mom agreeably, if somewhat reluctantly, moved into a nursing home. It was the right thing to do for her—no matter how bad it felt to us as her children.