I never envisioned myself running the actual Boston Marathon. Really, what got my attention with Boston was the Boston bombing in 2013. Those people, the spectators, that really hit home with me, because I knew exactly what it’s like to go through an explosion. That’s when I fell in love with the city of Boston, because it just shows the community and the love that they do have for each other.
My first marathon I did run was Canton. I qualified for Boston with my first marathon. So I knew right then it was in the cards. I absolutely had to run. The Boston course itself is pretty tricky. You don’t really know the magnitude of how hard Boston is, until you actually run the actual race. So the locals and the people that’ve run Boston before, they kind of have a game plan. For your first time, it’s kind of a lot to take in, ’cause it’s one of the most run in the world.
Me, being such a rookie runner, I was kind of shellshocked a little bit. The first, about, 10 miles, it’s all downhill. Downhill creates…a lot of people, they pace out too fast, so I knew I had a pretty good pace going and I was just caught up in the actual experience of Boston and really wasn’t focused on my efficiency.
As you get closer to the finish line, the crowd it just keeps getting louder and louder and louder. That really does help with the whole pushing through, whatever you’re going through at that moment.
Mile 16 through mile 21 it’s Heartbreak Hill. That’s when runners hit the wall. I was pacing really good, underneath my goal. I was almost through the whole Heartbreak Hill section and just had a couple more miles to go, and once you get over, you crest Heartbreak Hill, it’s smooth sailings from there. But mile 20, you know, that’s when my right leg locked up. It was my calf, my quad, my hamstring. If anyone’s had a cramp before, how that feels, it’s kind of devastating. So I was kind of running with that leg straight for two miles.
Mile 22 hit and the same thing happened in my left leg. And so now both legs were locked up. I kind of ran like Forrest Gump when he had those braces on, just straight-legged and I really was going at a power walker’s pace, not even a jog.
The reason why I do run is for my therapy. To help cope with PTSD and survivor’s guilt, but also in my brothers’ names that I do run for and their story. I felt like I let them down. So mentally, it was mental warfare at that point. That was the lowest point of the race.
I knew I could either give up, but that’s not in my DNA, I’ve never given up on anything. You know, being a Marine, what’s instilled in us from bootcamp is to death. But there is one thing that I knew I was going to do and that was to finish the race, by myself. I didn’t want any help.
The next best thing I could still do to help get to that finish line is to crawl. Knees and elbows, just kind of squirming like a worm pretty much. I did that until my right leg loosened up and I was able to crawl the rest of the way.
Everyone has a strength within them. The ability to adapt and overcome any situation. Mentally, physically, emotionally, everyone has that in them. You have to find whatever works for you and grab onto it and go with it. To be able to pull yourself out from that dark spot, it doesn’t get any better than that.
