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Shedding the Military Uniform at Home

A military wife and Guideposts guest blogger, Beatrice Fishback, remembers when her husband needed to come home and get out of uniform for awhile. And over time she understood why.

A military wife remembers how her soldier husband needed to get out of uniform.
Credit: Getty Images/Fuse

Today’s guest blogger is Beatrice Fishback.

Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassion, kindness, humility, meekness and patience, bearing with one another… (Colossians 3:12)

An unusual trend began to happen with Jim in the early years of our military marriage. We had moved to our new assignment in Colorado, and my normally meticulous husband started what I considered to be behavior contrary to his character.

Each day he would come home from the motor pool, walk in the door and shed one piece of his uniform at a time, leaving a trail of clothing in his wake. He would go up the stairs, and change into jeans and t-shirt before coming down for dinner, leaving the line of clothes and boots along the hallway during our meal.

Military wife Beatrice FishbackThe symbolism of his behavior eluded me for the longest time. Although I don’t think it was intentional—and he might even say he was tired and unaware he did it—I think back to how different the he was dressed in his uniform than when he was out of it.

I believe Jim was trying to uncover the “real” him, to separate from the man he had to be when he worked. That trail of clothing represented an internal process. Not that he wasn’t proud of his chosen career, but there were times he needed to disassociate himself from that world. The next day, he’d put on a fresh uniform and become the soldier once again.

This went on for awhile before we came to terms with his leaving the uniform lying around or picking it up, and my accepting and allowing him the ability to be two different men, in and out of uniform. And this came only when I allowed God to give me a heart of compassion for Jim when he needed it the most.

Beatrice Fishback is the author of Loving Your Military Man and co-author of Defending the Military Marriage and Family. Follow her on www.facebook.com/Beasattiudes.

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