Have mercy on me, my God, have mercy on me, for in you I take refuge. I will take refuge in the shadow of your wings until the disaster has passed. (Psalm 57:1, NIV)
The world around us is heavy with conflict, from wars on foreign soil to the violence here at home. It’s hard not to approach each day waiting for calamity to strike. I struggled with this melancholy mindset when our son was first in the military. Every whisper of global strife tugged at my heart and nibbled away at the sense of peace I fought to hold onto. The harder I tried to keep it all together, the more my shaky foundation crumbled.
One morning I awoke to a new set of casualties announced on the morning news, and I couldn’t take it any longer. I crawled back into bed, buried my face in the pillow and sobbed my fears out to God. I didn’t hold anything back. I put into words all the things I had been too scared to face.
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And then I felt a profound sense of peace wash through me. It almost seemed as if God had His hand on my back, comforting and reassuring me. Where once I’d felt anguish, now I was filled with a quiet sense that God was there with me. I knew for certain that He cared deeply about the fears I carried. More than that, He had somehow taken those fears from me, and I was released from that burden.
I sat up, dazed by the change in my mood, and reached for my Bible. I wanted to find an explanation for what had happened. I opened directly to Psalm 57 and began reading. There it was, the perfect description of what I’d just experienced. As long as I’d been trying to cope on my own, I’d been standing without protection. The moment I dove into the protection of God by sharing all my fears, He provided the refuge I so desperately craved.
That wasn’t my last day of tears, but it was the last day of utter despair. Because that day I learned how to seek refuge from the only One who could truly provide it.
