Recently, Julee and I celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary. We didn’t talk about it too much in the run-up. After all, why is 20 so different from 19 or 21? Why overinflate the importance of a simple round number? It’s not as if a marriage is like a bank CD that suddenly matures at a specific point in time.
But of course 20 is a big deal, and I was a little surprised to find Julee wistful about it when the day came. It was amazing and wonderful, she said, that we’d been through so much together, and had grown through it and stayed together. But it made her a little sad to think of all the “firsts” we had behind us—our first apartment, our first house, her first record, my first promotion, our first dog that we picked out together (our late cocker spaniel, Sally).
“No matter what travel agents tell you,” Julee said, “you only have one honeymoon.” Julee and I had honeymooned in the Bahamas where we’d lived on conch chowder. That morning I’d written in a card to her that after 20 years I still wanted to eat conch chowder with her.
Julee’s wistfulness stayed with me all day. What firsts did an old married couple like us have left? Hmm….
The first time I hear your voice in the morning…the first kiss of the day…the first time I say “I love you”….
No, Julee’s right—20 years is no big deal. But each day is.
Edward Grinnan is Editor-in-Chief and Vice President of GUIDEPOSTS Publications.
