Today’s guest blogger is Carol Boley.
My husband and I have lived in a house divided for more than 32 years.
Even though we have lots in common…love of Christ, love of family, fudgy brownies…we disagree on one major issue. And it never will be resolved. We have what lawyers call “irreconcilable differences.” Yet early on we decided we would not be torn apart.
You see, I am a University of Arizona Wildcat, and my husband is an Arizona State University fan. He knew it when he married me. Apparently it takes a Wildcat to make a Sun Devil happy, I remind him.
As often as we could, we’ve gotten tickets to The Big Game every November. We walk into the stadium, each in our team’s colors, it has made for some fun memories. Like the year UA’s Chuck Cecil intercepted a pass in the end zone and returned it 106 yards for a touchdown. Or the year UA’s Max Zendejas kicked the winning field goal with no time left on the clock. I can’t recall any fun memories involving ASU.
We own a bobblehead Sparky, the Sun Devil mascot, sporting a Wildcat paw print taped to his bum. He lives on our family room bookcase, only allowed to look out if the Devils win.
As much fun as we have with our rivalry, it has also sparked moments of endearment. When the Wildcats were ranked #1 nationally in basketball, Jim got tickets to the UA-ASU game at the McKale Center in Tucson…the mothership. I was surrounded by my people, singing “Bear Down, Arizona” to my heart’s content.
In a sold-out crowd of more than 14,000 fans in red-and-blue, Jim was one of approximately six people wearing maroon and gold. As expected, the Cats won handily and I appreciated the sacrifice Jim made on my behalf, knowing how fun it would be for me to see my team play as #1 In. The. Nation.
Every marriage (every relationship, really) has irreconcilable differences—views on politics, social issues, finances, child-rearing, vacations, how cool to keep the thermostat—and other issues more difficult and serious. (I am not making light of major issues involving character and morality.)
Scripture offers a healthy approach in dealing with “irreconcilable differences” so they don’t wreck your relationship:
1) Accept those differences and don’t try to change each other. Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God. (Romans 15:7)
2) Appreciate those differences and the spice they add to your relationship. No, “My way or the highway” thinking. Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought. (Romans 12:3)
3) Admire your spouse (or friend or child) for all the great qualities you see in them and stay respectful. Live in harmony with one another. (Romans 12:16)
Who knows? You may even learn to enjoy some of those differences!
Writer and speaker Carol Boley is a former newspaper reporter and feature writer. She has been published in numerous publications including Guideposts, Focus on the Family and Moody Monthly. She is the co-author of But I’m NOT a Wicked Stepmother!
