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Keeping the Spark

What it takes to keep a marriage–the gift of oneness–strong

Shawnelle and Lonny celebrating a strong marriage

Lonny and I are across the room from one another. Four boys and our usual brand of wild are between us. But I catch it. The smile. The easy one, the one meant for me, that I’ve loved for twenty-five years. Our eyes connect, for just an instant, and the unspoken passes between us.

I love you. You are mine.

It’s family movie night. There are boys sprawled on the floor. Bean bag chairs cover every inch of space. Samuel has popped popcorn, and it’s destined for bowls but in reality, soon, stray pieces will be peppered all over the place. The surround sound is on. The pre-movie chatter is loud.

Shawnelle and Lonny share a strong marriageBut the connection between my husband and me is sweet and deep and clear.

If I had to pull it apart, I’d say that the gift for this oneness, this quiet connection that holds powerful words, is a blessing that we enjoy largely due to an investment of together time.

We’ve learned, over the years, that to keep a spark in our marriage, the kind that kindles intimacy, is to give our marriage the gift of time. We need to share time in order to know one another more deeply. It takes time for our relationship to change and grow.

Time is that critical component that causes us to lean into, to delight in one another, rather than leaning away or growing apart.

It’s really not so different from my relationship with God.

I need to spend time in study to stay connected to, to know, the heart of my Father. I need to hear His voice, for Him to hear mine, through prayer. I’m anchored in His presence, grounded in His love, made firm in our relationship when I spend regular, quality time in His Word.

There’s no better way to hear Him whisper:

I love you. You are mine.

A child settles onto my lap and another boy, on the sofa, sidles up next to his daddy. Someone tosses blankets from the big basket by the window and everyone snuggles deep.

 It’s time for the movie to begin.  The moment between Lonny and me has passed.

 It’s okay.

 Moments like these flow from a multitude of moments, bound together, making us strong.

And the relationship, cultivated by time, thrives.

Lord, our relationship feeds my life. Remind me, daily, to spend sweet moments with You. Amen.

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