But He Says He Loves Me

How to tell if your teen daughter is in a healthy dating relationship

Photo of teen couple holding hands by 123RF(r)

Do you remember when you first started dating your first serious boyfriend? It was exciting and scary at the same time. Thoughts ran through your mind. Is he going to call me? When will I see him again? Will he like my friends, my parents?

Today, it’s a different story in the world of dating. Online statistics report that one in three teens in the United States are victims of physical, sexual, emotional or verbal abuse from a dating partner.

One in 10 high school students have been hit, slapped or physically hurt by a boyfriend or girlfriend. So how do we protect our teen daughter or granddaughter as we watch her walk out the door with a young man and begin what is supposed to be an exciting time in her life?

It’s difficult to know if your daughter or granddaughter is in a healthy dating relationship or not, especially if she’s not talking about it. So it’s important to know the person she is dating. Spend time with both of them and watch how he treats her.

  • Does he put her down in a joking way?
     
  • Does he tell her what to do?
     
  • Does he check her cell phone messages or emails?
     
  • Is he possessive of her time and is she losing contact with her girlfriends? 
     
  • Does your daughter or granddaughter say he’s just protective of her?
     
  • Does she have bruises on her body that appeared after she started dating her boyfriend?

Let your daughter or granddaughter know that God doesn’t want us to rush into dating just to date. Many teens feel that they need to be with someone or they will feel out of place.

Remind her that we all want to be loved. We all want to find our perfect partner, but sometimes when we run ahead of God’s perfect timing and make our own bad choices, it can hurt us. If we wait and trust in Him, He will give us the desires of our hearts.

Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. (Psalm 37:4, NIV)

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