Holding Mom’s frail little hand, I watched her as she rested. I was thankful she didn’t seem to be in any pain at the moment. During that season, years ago, as Mom battled colon cancer, we tried to stay positive and look for reasons to be thankful.
Mom and I had been watching lots of “Murder She Wrote” reruns over the past few weeks as I sat next to her hospital bed, but today I needed more than Angela Lansbury could offer. I needed to hear from God. We were weary in our fight, and I desperately needed to hear from my Heavenly Father.
As I flipped through the channels, I finally stopped on a Joyce Meyer broadcast. Mom and I both liked her ministry. She always encouraged me, but on this particular day, she had a direct message from the Master for me.
I had been praying and believing for my Mama to be completely healed and restored to perfect health. Our whole family stood in faith for Mom’s healing, yet she had taken a turn for the worse and her diagnosis was grim.
Still, I believed.
After all, I had interviewed and written about many people who had been dramatically healed of cancer over the years. Their testimonies kept me hanging on because I knew God was still in the healing business…so why not my Mom?
My thoughts were interrupted by Joyce’s voice, saying, “You can’t get mad at God…because He is the only One who can get you through this.”
It’s like she was talking directly to me.
She went on to share a story about an evangelist friend whose son had been electrocuted while helping his Dad set up a tent for a huge revival meeting. This evangelist just couldn’t understand how God could allow that to happen. He became angry at God and cried out to Him, “God, how could you allow my son to die while we were doing Your work? Where were You, God? Where were You when my son died?!”
And, in that still small Voice, he heard God say, “I was the same place I was when My Son died. Right here. Loving you. And, if you’ll trust Me through this, you’ll see your son again. He is here with me now. I know you don’t understand, and I know you’re angry. But don’t run from Me; run to Me, and let Me love you through this…”
Tears streamed down my face because I knew that God was speaking to me through that story, preparing me for what was to come. God knew I would be angry and that I would question my very foundation of faith if my Mama died, and He couldn’t let that happen. He was telling me that although I would never understand, I would have to trust Him anyway, and He would love me through it.
Mama let go of my hand and took the Savior’s just a few days later.
I was devastated, but my faith in God remained strong because I knew that my Mom was in heaven with God, and I knew that He would love me through it.
So, let me tell you something: if you need to hear from God, He will find a way to speak to you. He knows your heart, and He has the exact words at the exact time you need to hear them.
You can trust Him; I speak from experience.
