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When You Don’t Know What to Say

It’s not easy to know how to help someone dealing with depression; here are some tips on what to say.

Lenore Person

We all feel depressed at times. But when feelings of intense sadness—as well 
as helplessness, hopelessness and worthlessness—last for weeks, it is called clinical depression.

There is no “quick fix” for this type of depression, but your love, light and few kind words can ease a loved one’s pain.

Here are some positive words that show your support, whether it’s in person, on the phone, or in thoughtful cards.

“You are important to me.”

“I’m sorry that you are in pain. I care about you and I love you.”

“I’ve noticed lately that you have been down. I’m here to listen if you ever want to talk.”

“I’m not sure what to say, but I want you to know I care.”

“How can I be most helpful to you?”

“I’m praying for you.”

Include one of God’s promises such as “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” (Isaiah 41:10)

Knowing what not to say can be as important as knowing what to say.

Don’t say, “It’s time to put on a smile and put this depression behind you. It’s not that bad and you need to get over it.”

Don’t try to lighten the mood somehow, pretend things aren’t so bad, or provide advice.

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