My stomach was in a knot. There’d been a major plot twist in a complicated (and delicate) project I’m working on, and fear was sitting on my chest and twisting my innards. I’d crafted and then drafted a written response but held off on sending it. Something wasn’t sitting right with me.
As soon as my kids were out the door, I headed to the chapel up the street. It was empty first thing in the day. I knelt and mentally brought in each of the people I was working with (and against). That made the little space a bit crowded.
Then I stammered out blessings, one person at a time. “Blessed be God in the life of _____. May Your name be glorified through her words and actions today. Grant her the grace and wisdom she needs to do Your will.”
It was a bit awkward, because my heart wasn’t 100% into wishing some of these folks well. Still, my fear had me stuck, and since it was my fear in my heart, I knew I needed to address this.
I repeated the prayer more than once for each person I didn’t like. I repeated it until my heart let go of resentment and anger, and the words came out honestly. Not surprisingly, the more progress I made on this, the more the fear that gripped me faded.
Then, when my heart was full of genuine blessing, I sat quietly for a while.
“Thank you, Lord. Thank you for each of these people in my life,” I finally said, and I meant it. As I gathered my coat and bag, the subtle tweak needed in the email I’d drafted became obvious. I went home and changed a few words, and sent it off with a peaceful heart.
